Just another failed day !

The chapter starts, and now, with a twist, now that some facts are out.

Its three years now, and he is to be disappointed again. Because that is what it has been doing with him for these 1096 days ( Its plain math, The August end, he recollects ). Thats part of a life, I guess.

He had been living with this stuff, keeping it to himself for quite some time.

Sometimes we fore see what lies ahead, we know deep down what is going to happen, we know what we feel is to be kept with ourselves at times. And as we know! that is when something divine happens, and we lose all the control, we start dreaming about what was never ours, and we try to ´go get it´.

We just cannot quit over something we are so attached to, and that is the destiny for such crazy ones as us! The feel good factor drives us till the end, though the regular life keeps good and on track. We just cannot quit over that feel good factor. And these things have no reasons attached !

I would like to classify people under two different heads. The ones who live and the ones who love. I feel that is all that is, in our power. We have only two options left at our discretion, though we always try to look for the third one !

- Live and not love,

- Love and not live.

He remembers wondering/discussing about this particular thing a couple of times with friends and himself. And he happened to conclude that it does happen, and it did happen to me as well.

Love at first sight !...

Though he might never confess or even ... Well ! That is totally a different part of the story.

The Painless Survival - Living Straightforward

Survival - and that is the goal, though hidden, behind every single move!

Is it not the seed of that sweet mango which we all long for ?

The seed which we throw away only to yearn for another sweet one tomorrow ?

Anything we do, the motive is survival, though hidden.

Is there a point in being selfless ?

Is there a point in compromising with life ?

Is there a point in survival ?

Why should one live, if it's not for the self.

All...after having been said and argued..,

There is only one path to THE survival. And that is destruction.

Subdue! all that comes in the way, the desire, the emotion, the ego, the complication, love, life, and what not! (all that comes on the way to divinity :P)

In simple words, in my own...

If one compromises today, that is a compromise for the rest of the life.

Is it not so simple ? Kill today to live today. Anything and everything that comes your way. Why should one sit in anticipation, to get hurt, or to get rejected ! Sting anybody, with the intention of causing damage or without it, who comes in the way. For its the only way to ...

PAINLESS SURVIVAL.

The Hope DOPE

I have been thinking about this thing for quite some time.

We all hope for something,

some fools try their best to get what they hope for, and when they dont make it, theres an other hope !!!

some fools try hard (any means) to attain what they hope for,

some fools want to hope and are not sure about what to hope for,

some fools die to never let their hope die,

some fools hope for what was never theirs and can never be

No no ! I am not trying to make out here, what kind of a fool I am. But YES!

I do hope !

Some make it and some break. And then some want to hope for all that is white and some want to hope for the black, for the feeling of going down is too gross to handle and black never lets anybody down.

The opportunists who seek the BLACK HOPE can sense a feeling of achievement here :)

And now I wonder, if hope had a color, what color would it be ?

Anybody and everybody can imagine a color for their hope !

I have discussed about this with a few of the best people I know.

My hope has a color that is all yellow, as yellow as the sunflowers.

I badly wish it to be black !!

Its with you and now you know it !

Well, its time I do something ! It is enough. I cant see people just kicking me like that, for me being a nothing. Being nothing does not mean that I am nothing. I always knew what I wanted, I never went for it... for we were living our lives, you were living yours and I was living mine. But when it all came to me again, I could not stop, I am sorry about it!

I want nothing from nobody. I have got enough, and i am thankful for that. Well, you can ask me if getting kicked once was not enough? And I would say, I took courage, moved on, for you too know well enough what it was. I retaliated and kicked back to never get kicked again.

And now I am getting kicked again, and I am ready to take that with your smile. I like kicks, I would say. But never again will I be getting kicked again. For some things are not repeated, like...

I know its life and things are beautiful around. And I also know that what's lost is lost for ever. I felt I lost it once, but I did not. It took me just a jiffy to realize that. And this time i know I have lost it, never to find it again. That is why i have lost it, coz I knew I would never want to find it again. You can call it a gameplan! I wanted to lose it to you and I really lost it. Well as you would say, its life !

And i know whats not mine is not mine and what I have lost is lost forever. So things are beautiful, coz I dont have anything to sit on and cry. Someday when you read it, please know that its with you and please dont kick it away.

I have edited this post on May 02, 2009.